CMT Host Cody Alan Comes Out As Gay in Heartfelt Message

Cody Alan, an iHeartRadio and CMT host, opened up about his struggle coming to terms with his sexuality to PEOPLE. The exclusive reveals that the once-married Alan knew from a young age about his same-sex attractions, but kept it a secret, and even married

“Though my TV or my radio persona was always that of a happy guy, there was this underlying ache inside of me for years, so I decided either I was gonna do something about it, or I was gonna live with this layer of misery underneath that happy face on the TV,” Alan, 44, tells PEOPLE. “Once I realized it was okay to accept the truth, that it wasn’t my choice…it was a lot easier to start figuring out where to go with my life next.”

Thankfully, Alan now feels comfortable to open up about himself. “I’ve wanted to share this part of my life, but I now have gotten to the point where it just feels right, and I’m at peace with where I am enough to be able to express it.”

He spoke directly to his fans on Instagram, writing a heartfelt New Year’s message:

2017. As we start a new year, there is something I want to share with you. You see, I’m gay. This is not a choice I made, but something I’ve known about myself my whole life. Through life’s twists and turns, marriage, divorce, fatherhood, successes, failures – I’ve landed on this day, a day when I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been,” he wrote. “And I’m finally comfortable enough for everyone to know this truth about me. As we continue our journey, I hope this news won’t change how you see me. I’m still the same Cody I always was. You just know a little more about me now. My hope for the future is to live the most honest, authentic, loving, and open life possible. Here’s to being happy with yourself, no matter who you are, who you love, where you come from, or what cards life has dealt you.”

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