How Does a Missile Crisis Impact Porn Viewership? Pornhub Says it Went Limp

One piece of data we learned from the morning of Saturday January 13 when residents all across Hawaii received a text message at 8:07 A.M. stating that a ballistic missile was on it’s way to their island and advised they should take shelter immediately was that resident turned off their porn. This data collected by Pornhub is the first of its kind, as the United States hasn’t had a threat of an impending missile since the Internet/porn revolution.

With international tensions currently at a high, it’s no surprise that the warning was taken very, very seriously. We can’t begin to imagine what would go through someone’s mind after reading that message, but based purely on the traffic numbers, it’s NOT to be watching porn.

Based on real-time, per-minute page views, and compared to levels on the previous two Saturdays, our statisticians found a precipitous drop in traffic at 8:07 immediately after the warning was sent out. By 8:23 A.M. traffic was a massive -77% below that of a typical Saturday. As residents were notified around 8:45 that the initial warning was sent in error, traffic began to return to normal and Hawaiians collectively breathed a sigh of relief. Those seeking further relief, headed back to Pornhub where page views surged +48% above typical levels at 9:01 A.M.

It makes us wonder what was going through the minds of the 23% who were logged on to the website during the crisis. I guess we know their answer to what they’d do if they knew the world was going to end.

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